Thought It Was Normal
by obliviousworlds
Summary: Sam grew up thinking being beat around was normal.


"_Dad please don't! I'll be good!"_

That's how it would start.

"_Please dad I'm sorry!"_

That's how it would continue.

"_I'll listen next time."_

That's how it would end.

Sam grew up thinking being beat around was normal. His dad would get drunk when he would find no leads on the thing that killed his wife, and shit would happen. Dean never knew, because Dean was the golden child, dad's favorite, and he told Sam if he ever told Dean, he'd regret it.

So the secret stayed with him, stayed with him all those years as a kid and a teen, and he took it.

* * *

When Sam turns 18 he leaves. Just takes off in the middle of the night. Scares the shit out of Dean, and when Dean asks his father about it he just shrugs it off and says "he'll be back."

* * *

Sam doesn't come back.

It takes Dean two years to finally find his brother. He had gotten word from a few hunters that said they'd seen Sam roaming around an alley in California. Why he had gone thre was still a mystery to Dean.

"Sam?" Dean calls out in the alley his dads friend's said they had seen Sam in. He waves a flashlight around and stops short when he see's his brothers tall frame up against the wall.

"Sammy." Dean whispers, kneeling down in front of him.

Sam doesn't say anything, and doesn't even fight Dean whe he helps him up and leads him to the Impala.

Sam's still silent in the car, and that just worries Dean more.

"Sam are you hurt?"

Sam wants to laugh. All he's ever known is hurt.

Dean sighs when he doesn't get an answer. "I'm gonna get a motel room alright?"

Sam still says nothing and just continues to stare ahead.

"Here Sam." Dean says handing Sam some clothes.

Sam stares down at them then back up at his brother.

"They're mine, but they'll do for now. You need something better and warmer to sleep in." Dean tells him glancing at his torn clothing.

Sam takes them and goes back into the bathroom to change.

Sam's anger flares when he comes back out and hears Dean talking on the phone.

"Yeah Dad I found him, he's alright."

Sam sucks in a sharp breath and storms over to his brother and snatches the phone out of his hand and hurles it at the wall breaking it.

Dean stares at him shocked. "Sam what-"

Sam throws a punch at his brother that sends him to the floor.

Dean tries to process what's just happened as he puts a hand up to his eye, knowing it'll probably be a nice shiner in no time.

"Sam what's wrong? Dean asks calmly, looking up at him.

Sam stands, clenching and unclenching his hands, breathing heavily.

"Why'd you call him?"

Dean blinks, surpised Sam even answered him.

"I was just letting him know you were safe. He's been worried."

"He doesn't care." Sam says as he watches Dean stand back up.

"Why? Sam what's wrong? Why'd you lash out at me?" Dean asks as Sam sits down on one of the beds.

"Why'd you let me?"

"What?"

Sam stands back up and faces his brother. "Hit me."

Dean gives him a confused look then shakes his head. "No."

"Do it. It's only fair right?"

Dean shakes his head. "I'm not gonna hit you Sam."

This only makes Sam even more angrier. "I hit you! That must make you mad! Hit me back Dean! Do it!" Sam yells, grabbing Dean's shoulders and shaking him hard.

"No." Dean answers, ignoring his brothers plea. "Sam what's wrong with you?"

Sam doesn't answer him. Instead he starts slamming his head against the wall.

"Sam! What the hell man!" Dean yells, tackling his brothe r to the floor and restraining him.

Sam struggles against his hold, but Dean's stronger than him so he finally gives up and let's his body sag against his brothers.

"Dean 'm sorry. I'm sorry I hit you." he says upset.

Dean swallows nervously and lets his chin rest on the top of Sam's head. "It's okay."

"No it's not." Sam cries. "I need to be punished." He adds looking up at his brother.

"I'm not gonna hit you Sam." Dean repeats. "Why do you want me too?" Did something happen to you when you left?"

Sam sniffs and shakes his head.

Dean looks at his brothers face, his innocent face, and it reminds him of when he was younger. Now it's filled with fear and pain. He places his hands on both sides of Sam's face.

"Someone hurt you Sammy and I want to know who it was."

Sam shakes his head in Dean's grasp. "You'll think I'm lying."

"No. I'll believe anything you tell me. I promise." Dean says as he thunbs tears away from Sam's face.

Sam waits a minute before finally saying "dad." Choking on the word as he starts to sob again.

Dean stares at him shocked and doesn't believe him at first.

"Dad used to beat me Dean..." Sam repeats.

Then suddenly it hits him. It all makes perfect sense. All those injuries Sam had gotten when he was younger. All those times he had said they were "accidents" were really done by his father.

Dean feels like throwing up. "Oh god Sammy." He finally whispers. Sam wraps his arms around his brother and let's his head rest on his shoulder while he continues to cry.

"Sam I'm so sorry...I had no idea." Dean says letting Sam lay against him. "You never told me..."

"I c-couldn't...He said I would regret it..."

Dean nods and craldes Sam in his arms. "God that's why you left. That's why you hit me when I called dad. That's why you wanted me to hit you back." He stops to look down at Sam. "You thought it was normal..."

Sam slowly nods and sniffs.

"I'm not dad Sam...I'd never..."

"I k-know that n-now." Sam says and clings to Dean tighter. "It hurt s-so b-bad D-Dean."

"I know..." Dean says and squeezes him tight. "It's gonna be okay."

* * *

"God Sam." Dean whispers when Sam pulls off his shirt, revealing the years of abuse.

"Did he touch you...like sexually? Because if he did I swear to god Sam-"

"No." Sam says, cutting him off. That's the one thing his father never did.

"Okay...okay." Dean says finally. "It's alright. I'm gonna do something about this."

And he does. Sam is curled up in bed when he hears Dean outside yelling at his father on the phone. Insults and threats flying. He's never seen Dean so mad before.

Sam jerks awake when he feels the bed sink with more weight.

"Easy it's just me." Dean says, sensing the fear, and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Sam turns over to face him and frowns at the now bruised eye Dean has. _I did that._

"It's okay Sam. I'm alright." Dean says, knowing what's bothering him.

Sam nods. "I'm sorry. I know how much you looked up to dad."

Dean shakes his head as tears fill his eyes.. 'You have nothing to be sorry for Sam. I'm sorry I didn't know sooner."

Sam nods and lets his head rest back on the pillow.

"Sam..."

"Yeah Dean?" Sam says looking down.

Dean gently grabs his face and makes Sam look at him. "You do know what dad did...It wasn't right. That it wasn't normal right?"

Sam thinks about it for a moment then finally nods. "I used to think it was...but now I know it's not."

"Good." Dean says before laying down next to Sam and places an arm around him protectively.

Sam let's himself relax again and he closes his eyes.

This is the first time in years he's ever felt safe.

_**End**_

_**Please review! :) would love to know what you thought!**_


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